Ain't It the Life
by crackship-writer
Summary: After Jake embarks on his own path after graduation, he realizes that you can be homesick for somewhere -or someone- that you never knew was your home.
1. Chapter 1

"Clare, where are my socks?" a flustered Jake called into the hallway from his room, an empty sock drawer hanging from his hands. When he woke up that morning and went to grab some socks to wear for graduation, Jake was quite shocked to find that every last pair of socks seemed to be missing. Though he wasn't sure why she would have taken his socks, of all things, there was no way it wasn't her.

Not hearing an answer from his step-sister's room but rather a bit of shuffling, Jake sighed and walked the short distance to her room. Throwing open the door and finding her pulling up her blanket, Jake rolled his eyes and went to sit at the foot of her bed. She whined as the bed went down, but Jake ignored her and placed the empty drawer on the floor. Finally turning to her, Jake let out a short laugh and gave her a look.

"So, I know you're not that lumpy and you didn't gain all that weight over night..." he trailed off, patting the space around where her stomach would have been under the blanket, but where instead were all the socks from his room. "Would you like to explain to me why you stole my socks on one of the most important days of my life?" His eyebrow immediately rose as his question was posed and he waited for her response.

Defeated, Clare let out a sigh and shook her head, wiping under her eyes even though no tears were forming. She then reached beneath the cover and grabbed a pair of socks before chucking it at his head. "Just take your stupid socks and go, Jake," she demanded bitterly, crossing her arms over her chest and turning her head away from him, clearly not wanting to deal with Jake, though he wasn't sure why.

"You have quite the arm..." he muttered, rubbing the spot she had hit on his temple as he gazed at her, waiting a moment in hopes that she would speak up. When she didn't, he scooted up the bed, tossing the socks he found on the way into the drawer on the floor. "Hey, Clare, look at me, dammit, will you?" he asked gently, but she refused, her head cocked tightly towards the window as silent tears fell from her eyes.

"Why haven't you left already? You're gunna be late," she replied more bitterly than before, finally turning to face him. It was clear just how unhappy she was with Jake. He just wanted to know why, but he really did have to leave. Asking her now would not be the right time to do so.

With a hefty sigh, Jake rose from the bed, grabbed his drawer and walked to the doorway. Before he left the room, he called out to her over his shoulder, "You're coming today, right? It would really mean a lot to me." In reply she groaned, making her step-brother rolled his eyes as he left to get changed for graduation.

A few hours later and the ceremony was all done. It was official, Jake was a free man. He would no longer have to deal with the trivial drama of high school, be home before midnight each night, and he definitely didn't have to make his bed every morning. It was the transition from his old prison to his new life, and it was perfect for him. That weekend he would be moving out of the Edwards-Martin household and into the cabin.

It had taken him months to get his father to agree to the proposal, but eventually Glen Martin agreed. After all, Jake had kept up his end of the bargain; he applied to a few universities, even though he had no intention of going, and he promised to pay rent and abide by any rules his father-landlord imposed on him. It only made sense to Jake that he stay in the same place he had learned to love all his eighteen years of life. Even though his father seemed set on the idea, letting Jake live his life just as he wanted to, there seemed to be someone who didn't support the decision.

"But why can't you just stay here? What difference does it make living in the cabin and living here? You don't _have_to go all the way up there," Clare nagged Jake as he sat in his room, packing his belongings to bring up with him. Looking up from the box he was working on, he saw her standing in the doorway, her arms across her chest in a supposedly stubborn stance, though her eyes told a different story. In them, Jake could feel the same kind of hurt she exhibited the day of his graduation.

Sitting up straight, Jake pat the space next to him, beckoning her to join him on the floor. After a moment of mental debate, Clare huffed and stomped over to the space, plopping down next to him. Ignoring her for a few minutes, Jake continued packing as he tried to figure out just how to answer her question. Seemingly growing tired of his silence, Clare reached over to what he was picking up and took it from him, staring at him to show that she wanted answers.

"Clare..." he started off slowly, still not exactly sure how to word things to her. Taking the shirt she had stolen back, he continued on packing, not being able to bring himself to look over at her."I can't live here all my life. I'm a graduate now, a man, if you will. Living here will just hold me back. I need to get out and live my life, Clare. Can't you understand that?"

Hearing a whimper followed by a sniff, Jake's head jerked up and turned towards her, finding that she wasn't looking his way. For the second time that week Clare was crying over him leaving and it tore Jake's heart into two. Though he felt slightly awkward, never really sure what to do when someone started crying, Jake put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer, trying to calm her down.

"You can't really blame me. You know that I've hated it here," he whispered to her, reminding her of things he had told her in the past. She groaned and he swore he saw her eyes roll. "Why, because you can't smoke here anymore? Because I made them put that curfew on you? It's not all that bad," she countered, causing Jake to laugh lightly.

Seeing her frown, Jake couldn't help but smirk to himself, finding it kind of funny how frustrated she was getting over not understanding him. "Well, those are very accurate factors of my decision, but not exactly. I just need to be on my own back in the country that I love." Still, Clare didn't seem to buy the truth as she pushed his arm from her shoulders and moved away from him.

Now it was Jake's turn to roll his eyes at his stubborn sister.. "Look at it this way, Clare. Would you like it much to live here but not be allowed to read your books? Or if you could never watch the Twilight movies?" he tried to rationalize to her, making her see things his way. She grumbled and muttered, "That's not the same," but Jake could tell that he had gotten into her head at least a little bit. "But since you're so insistent on leaving, whatever. I won't miss you," she spoke darkly, as if wanting Jake to believe her lie, but he knew she wasn't serious. After a few minutes she left, leaving Jake alone once again to finish his packing.


	2. Chapter 2

A few weeks after moving in, Jake was living the life. Watching TV in only his boxers, eating any kind of strange concoction he wanted and, greatest of all, smoking without worrying about getting caught was everything he had wanted and more. If he wanted to go fishing on the lake naked, he did it. There was almost nothing he didn't do and for those few weeks of freedom, he felt like he was living the life.

That is, until he started getting lonely. Often times when he would invite his old friend over they would express how busy they were with homework and classes. Sometimes he would find himself asking to hang out with someone across the country, forgetting that they no longer lived down the block. It was frustrating, going from constantly being surrounded by people to being alone all the time, and as much as he wanted to convince himself that it was the greatest decision of his life, he really did hate it. Jake Martin wasn't meant to be alone.

Some days he would sit on his porch with a joint in his hands, but he would never smoke it. He had grown so tired of the drug that by now the smell would sicken him. As much as he desperately wanted to get high, he couldn't bring himself to light it up and inhale the effects. So he would sit on the porch, wondering if this was really what his life had come to. All day he would sit in the cabin, waiting for offers for work to come, but they never did. While his friends were out making the best of their lives, getting an education, Jake bummed around, wishing he had listened to his father.

Finally sick of his decision, one day during lunch time, Jake took the drive down to Degrassi and walked in. Quickly searching the cafeteria for a certain familiar face, Jake ignored the stares and whispers from people as he passed through the tables. Finding the girl he had been searching for sitting between Adam and Becky, Jake let out a sigh of relief and marched over, taking her by her arm and lifting her from the table.

"Great to see you guys, but we gotta go," he announced hastily to the other seniors at the table, not giving Clare a second to wrap her head around the situation before stealing her out of the school and into the truck. When they were halfway back to the cabin, Clare's senses seemed to finally come alive as she looked over at her impulsive brother and scoffed.

"Would you like to explain why you just swept in and carried me away from my lunch?" she asked, staring at him blankly as she tried to figure it out herself. "I haven't seen you in days, weeks, but you just decide to randomly show up and cart me off? I could get into so much trouble for this, you know. I'm going to tell mom and-" she ranted, cutting herself off with a huff when she realized that she could no longer tell on Jake when he did something bad. They couldn't ground him if he was on his own, which was not something that Clare really hated. It was like he could just prance around doing what she wanted and nobody but him had a say in the matter.

Not wanting to admit the reason for his kidnapping to be something as lame as 'being too lonely and needing someone to pass time with,' Jake muttered something about a family emergency, hoping that she would buy the excuse, though he really didn't put it past her. He was right, looking into the rear-view mirror just in time to see her roll her eyes and cross her arms over her chest. "Right, let me guess, your sock monkey ripped and you need me to sew it. Such an emergency," she deadpanned, leaning her forehead against the glass window, watching the trees pass. Jake grimaced, knowing now that this was a bad idea. He should have taken someone else from the school instead of his sister who was clearly still mad at him for something.

When they reached his cabin, Jake frowned at it, blaming the structure for the mess of a life he was having so far. Hopping out of the truck, he waited for her to join him, though she seemed to be taking her sweet time, making it clear she didn't exactly want to be there either. When she did finally emerge, she grumbled something incoherent about him feeding her, making Jake laugh lightly. "Yeah, whatever, I'll make you chicken salad and then you can help me." She didn't seem to have too much of a problem with that, or at least not as much of a problem as he thoughts she would have, so Jake walked into his humble abode and made a bee-line for the kitchen, setting out to make their lunches.

A few minutes later he was done preparing the food and they sat at the counter eating, silence floating over them as they chewed. Jake's mind began to wander as he tried to come up with something for he and Clare to do. Before he could figure out a set plan, she put half of her sandwich down and cleared her throat, grabbing his attention. "So you never really answered me. What _am_ I doing here?" He immediately groaned at her question and put his own sandwich down, figuring he might as well tell her the truth.

"I was bored, you were the first person I thought of and if I didn't bring you here I would have gone crazy. It's lonely," he said quietly, not meeting her eyes until he heard her scoff at him. When he did look over at her, he found that she was shaking her head, giving him an incredulous look. "So you should have listened to me when I told you not to leave! I was right, Jake. I don't know why you didn't listen to me in the first place," she accused, waggling her finger at him.

"Please, Clare, I don't need your 'I told you so,' ok? Can't we just have a nice day of sibling bonding or something? The least you can do is do your homework while I sit and watch The Godfather. Please? For me?" he practically begged, feeling a lot less manly than he would have liked at the moment, but feeling that it was necessary to get her cooperation. He hated begging, but deep down he knew that by doing so Clare might just give into him.

And she did, a smirk of her own crossing her face. Instead of saying anything, wanting to instead bask in the way she had him wrapped around her finger, she picked up the other half of her sandwich and chewed on it. When she was finished she finally addressed him, though her look was a mock-stern one, as though she was pretending to be firm with him. "Fine, I'll stay and we'll bond, but I don't like how you feel you can just waltz back into my life when you want. You left, Jake. I didn't want you to, but you did anyway. And-" she stopped, shaking her head as though she changed her mind. "Just... enjoy this time with me while you can because who knows when it'll happen again, ok?" she finally said in a quiet voice, standing to put her plate in the sink.

Following her actions, Jake did the same before moving to the couch in the other room. "Thank you, that's all I ask," he replied just as quietly, now feeling bad for all she accused him of. He honestly didn't know that she felt like that. Sure, she had begged him not to go before he had, but he figured that she would have gotten over it by now. Maybe she was as lonely as he was, especially now that her boyfriend was gone as well. With a sigh he pat the place next to him for her to sit. "You know what? You choose what we watch, ok?" he suggested, passing her the remote and taking notice of the small smile on her face. So far he was off to a good start on this bonding day, though he wondered just how long that would last.


	3. Chapter 3

As it turned out, Clare decided that the two should Netflix _Beauty and the Beast_. Jake had been praying for her to pick anything but a Disney princess movie, but as it was, luck was not on his side that day. He kept his complaints silent and sat by, pretending to not mind the choice she had made. Instead, he occupied his time by comparing his life to the characters in the movie.

Clare was obviously Belle, if not for her love of books, then for her innocent obliviousness and ability to attract the wrong kind of guys without even realizing it. Jake found bits of himself in Gaston, though he didn't like to admit to that too much. All the two really had in common, after all, was their unwavering ego. Taking the day's events into consideration, Jake was really much more like the Beast. He had taken Clare-Belle against her will, forcing her to keep him company in his cabin-castle. The thought made Jake laugh slightly, causing Clare to look over at him with a glare as if yelling at him for interrupting the movie. So he hushed and watched on, wondering if his life would ever have the seemingly happy ending that this movie had. Not that he wanted to marry Clare, but if It could end with the two being on good terms again, that would be more than enough.

Before the movie had even finished, Clare had somehow managed to fall asleep on the arm of the couch. Jake didn't even realize until the credits were rolling and he went to make a comment, only to find her passed out. In need of a quick afternoon nap himself, Jake settled into his side of the couch and quickly drifted off, worn out from the movie they had watched. The two teens each had pleasant dreams, filled with happiness that almost resembled the Disney movie they had tried to watch. Soon enough, they were both contently asleep with smiles on their faces.

Two hours later, Clare slowly opened her eyes. She was exactly where she had been when she dozed off, only now the TV screen was completely black. When she tried to rise from the couch she found a little bit of resistance. Her sleepy eyes looked down her body in confusion, only to find that Jake's arm was wrapped tightly around her waist. Startled by this finding, Clare jumped slightly, causing the boy resting behind her to groan and stretch his limbs, soon enough opening his eyes too and seeing the position they were in.

"Oh, sorry," he muttered, sitting up and releasing her, running a hand through his hair as he looked away. Clare merely blushed and did the same. As they sat in silence, trying to get over the bit of sleep that still encompassed them, Clare began to wonder why she didn't totally mind the familiar comfort of Jake's body like that. For a girl who swore to Jake that she wouldn't miss him, she wasn't doing all too great a job of that. Admittedly, the boy was harder to forget than she would have liked, especially when he had not done anything really terrible to her, like, for instance, throw a few dead frogs at her. But his touch, no matter how innocent and unwarranted, jarred her into realizing that no matter how much she wanted it to be true, Jake Martin was not the kind of boy she could will herself to not think about.

Thinking back on it, there really weren't many moments when Jake wasn't on Clare's mind. It was not an intentional thing, and if she ever caught herself thinking about him she would immediately change her train of thought. Sometimes she would find herself thinking about him more than she did her ex-boyfriend Eli, who was someone that she did actually miss, despite their hard break-up once he moved to New York. Yet, when she sat in the lunchroom, passively listening to the love-chatter between Adam and Becky, her eyes often drifted to the very seat that Jake used to occupy.

Then at home it was even harder to escape the thoughts, especially when Helen liked to bring up his name more often that Clare would have liked. Sometimes she would ask Clare if she spoke to her brother recently, earning a few angry incoherent grumbles in reply. Confused, she would instead turn to Glen who would happily update her on his son's well-being, oblivious to the grumpiness of the teenager in their midst. And God-forbid Clare be extra sleepy at night and accidentally enter Jake's room instead of hers… One whiff of the mistaken pillow and the tears flowed freely, exhausting her even more until she passed out upon the bed.

While Clare knew that all this was happening deep down in her subconscious, it took waking in her brother's arms to actually realize it. And it confused her a whole lot more than it should have. If any tears were going to be spilt, they should have been for Eli's sake, not Jake's. And yet she couldn't think of a time recently when she had really cried over her old boyfriend. The distance upset her, that was a definite, but not to the point of tears. For all Clare knew in life, she couldn't figure this out. Was a sibling's love stronger than a relationship's? That had to be the answer, didn't it?

Finally wiping the sleepiness from his eyes, Jake yawned and took a look at the clock. The night was still pretty young and there was a lot the two of them could do. But, for the life of him, Jake couldn't figure out what she would have agreed to do. Most of his usual activities were too inappropriate for her, especially when they dealt with illegal drugs and being naked. Suggesting another movie would be redundant and that idea hadn't ended all too well the last time. Unfortunately, cuddling-session was not on his list either.

Seeming to read his mind, Clare rose without a word, but with a grin, and walked over to the closet. Jake raised an eyebrow at her, wondering what she could have been looking for, especially since she seemed set on retrieving something from there. Aside from that time Jake had a party at the cabin, the last time Clare had been there was when they were much younger. How would she have known what was in there now?

"Oh good, they're still here! Jake, go get some batteries," she demanded and Jake moved without a second thought, though he wondered when she had such a command over him. Regardless, he got the appropriate item and walked back to her, smirking to himself when he saw what they were needed for. "Remember when we used to play with these non-stop? I always won, of course," she teased, sticking a tongue out at him before putting the batteries in.

Nodding his head, Jake looked fondly down at the small robotic RC fighters. However, he didn't quite remember that memory as she did. "No, I'm pretty sure that I'm the one who won," he corrected with a laugh, taking the blue one once it was all set and placing it on the floor, all ready to go. "And I plan on still being the one to win," he teased in a light voice, winking at her playfully as he waited for her to get her own ready so that they could battle it out.

"Oh, you're so on," she claimed with a laugh, a genuine laugh that threw Jake off and made it possible for her to get in the lead within the first few seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

Slightly disgruntled by how he allowed himself to get so distracted, Clare was able to take the lead over Jake as he tried to compose himself. He wasn't sure why her laugh had put him out of sorts. It could possibly be attributed to the fact that it had been so long since he heard such a sound from her, but he wasn't totally sure. So it was only natural for him to be surprised by the innocent sound, much like how he had been when they were kids. There weren't many laughs to be had from the girl when Jake chased after her with dead frogs he had found by the lake.

Unfortunately for Jake, no amount of trying to get ahead worked to his advantage. He had debated pushing her over or simply nudging her controller with his elbow, but his pride was worth more than that. He couldn't be the guy who won simply by cheating. Besides, Clare had by now defeated his bot and was already starting to gloat. Jake demanded a rematch, to which she surprisingly agreed. Of course, as luck would have it for Jake, she ended up winning again, which Jake claimed to be a fluke and she in turn called him a sore loser. Now grumpy, Jake promptly put the toys away and refused to play any more games with her for the rest of the day.

Clare found this entertaining and took pleasure in his pain, taking advantage of her bragging rights for the rest of the day. Whatever Jake was doing, Clare made sure to walk over to him and remind him of whom the champion was, causing him to roll his eyes and push her away. After a while Clare swore she saw a small smile on his face and was convinced that he didn't mind it as much as he tried to make it seem.

When the end of the day came and Jake had to take her home, Clare felt a little bit sad again. She had just gotten the chance to hang out with Jake again and she didn't want him to leave, causing them to once again be away for so long. Spending the day with him, even if it was just for such a short amount of time, felt almost refreshing as it reminded her of the good times they had in the past, minus the dead frogs incident that she much rather would have forgotten.

It made her want to hang out with him more. Maybe not be dragged out of lunch again, but she was positive that they could figure something out; an agreement to keep them from going crazy. Ever since he first left, Clare yearned for the chance to hang out with him again. And since it had come, she just didn't want to give him up so soon, uncertain of when they could do this all again.

Once the pair finally reached the Edwards-Martin house, Clare kept her hand on the handle of the door, not yet willing herself to open it until she got to speak another part of her mind. "Jake," she started, turning towards him with a small, sad smile. "Don't let your only reason for hanging out with me be because you're bored or alone, ok? And give me a little more of a fair warning before swooping in to pick me. I can only imagine what mom and dad are going to say when they see me. Oh, and you should really stop by some time, just for dinner or something. I'm not the only one here who misses you, you know."

Smiling back at her, Jake nodded at her words, leaning forward to draw her into an overdue hug, holding her tightly. "Yes, to all those things, alright? Make sure you check your phone. I'm sure I'll be calling it soon enough. And don't worry about them; they know I didn't kidnap you, so it'll be fine. There are worse people who could have taken you from your studies. Now get out of here," he teased, watching her exit the car and head into her house before making his way back to his own.

Later that night, as Jake expected, he received a call from his parents, who weren't as thrilled as Jake thought they would be about him taking Clare out of class without their permission. But he managed to schmooze them over, or at least Glen who passed his happiness onto a less pleased Helen. When she eventually gave in, forgetting for a second how much of a riff-raff she viewed Jake, he threw out the offer of stopping by for dinner sometime within the next week. They made sure to tell him that wouldn't always fix the problem, but eventually agreed, expressing that they did miss him a lot.

With everyone's busy schedules in place, the dinner continued to get pushed back. During that time, though, Jake made sure to keep in touch with Clare, just as he promised he would. They even got together sometimes, though it never involved any more games in which Jake would lose. On the night of the dinner, Jake agreed to make the arrangement a monthly deal, which pleased both of his parents and they made sure that each time would consist of his favorite meal; meatloaf.

That same night he and Clare struck up another deal. Not only would he promise to keep in touch with her and hang out more, but the more now meant once a week. The timeframe they had previously been working with still wasn't enough, so they both felt that it was necessary to amp up the amount of time spent together. There was the argument that one would get tired with the other, but they came to the conclusion that going out every so often and not just sticking to the cabin would fix that immensely. And for a few months it did, causing these weekly hangout sessions to bring the two closer, or at least closer than they had been since their break up a long time ago.

Three months in, waking up on the cabin couch to find that they were in each other's arms was not a strange, or weird, occurrence. They had both gotten used to it and accepted that it would naturally happen, so much so that sometimes they would even fall asleep like that in the first place. Clare, who was always the first to nod off, would lean her head on Jake's shoulder for comfort and he would wrap an arm around her tiny frame, keeping her close and safe against his body as he stayed up a little longer. Being so close no longer freaked either of them out and no one made a big deal about it, so it quickly became their thing to do during these sessions.

Those times when they would go out to lunch on the weekends usually ended in a similar fashion. Often they would walk around town together, sometimes looking for a local ice cream joint or a new store to venture into, and Clare's arm would wrap around Jake's pulling him close to him as they walked. Sometimes when they would go into the vintage stop the old storekeeper would comment on how cute they looked together. There were many times when she asked Clare if Jake was a good boyfriend, to which the two would blush profusely, sputter out some misunderstood response and quickly detangle their arms, only to fall back into position once they left the store.

It was on those nights that Clare would go home and wonder what it would be like to date Jake again. Things had changed greatly in both of their lives, aside from their obviously new siblingship, but they had both matured, especially Jake. From what Clare could see, he was no longer that casual-dating boy she had met when he first came to Toronto. And if they got along so well together when they were just hanging out, wouldn't it only be better if they were dating? Remembering that she couldn't think about Jake that way anymore, she would quickly shake the thoughts off, laughing at her silliness and blaming that crazy old lady for making her think these things. But some days she just liked to think what if.

Unbeknownst to Clare, Jake also seemed to have these thoughts at times. He generally passed it off as him simply being lonely and her being the only one around for him. She was always around when he wanted to do something fun and she hardly ever rejected his ideas. She was always a text away and always offered a smiley face at the end of a long exchange of characters, making Jake chuckle as he imagined her making the same face herself. After a while he had convinced himself that if he started seeing someone he would get over these fleeting feelings.

When he had come up with that solution was the same night that he put it into place. After all, why not take the chance when the opportunity came about? He was sitting at The Dot that night, stirring his tea mindlessly, when his waitress, who he assumed was named Maria based on the name tag she was wearing, came and sat with him.

"I always see you in here and you're always so alone and lost in thought. You must be a writer," were the first words she said to him, breaking him out of his trance as he looked up and laughed openly at her words. He shook his head to show that she was wrong before correcting her. "No, not quite; I never was all that great with words. I'm more of a builder looking for jobs, I guess," he replied, shrugging passively as if to show how difficult that business had been for him. Finding him interesting already, 'Maria' nodded, taking in his appearance as he went back to his stirring. "A builder, hmm? What's your name, Mr. Fix-It?" she asked curiously, leaning forward across the table. "That would be Mr. Jake Fix-It, thank you very much. And you're Maria?" he asked, pointing to her name tag to show that's how he had known and he wasn't being a creepy guy. But she looked down in confusion before laughing again. "No, Maria's my friend who kindly let me borrow the name tag since I forgot mine. Boss gets really mad if we do that. No, I'm Jamie. It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Jake Fix-It. If there's anything you need, let me know." With a wink she left the table, off to help the other customers around the small café.

Realizing that he did actually have a need for this girl, since she was cute, his age and would definitely do the job, Jake scribbled his number onto a piece of paper and slipped it to her with his tip, winking just as she did before as he went off on his way. It hadn't even been four hours later when she texted him, really starting their relationship, and it all flowed from there. Soon enough there was another guest at family dinners and Glen was pleased to see that his son had finally found someone instead of sitting home alone.

The only person who seemed displeased with the setup was Clare, though she had every right to be. With Jamie in the picture, Clare-Jake weekly hangout sessions turned to bi-weekly and soon enough the only time they got to spend together was during family dinners, when the threat to their relationship herself was present. She was happy for her brother, especially since he seemed to be having a great time with his new girlfriend, but she was starting to miss him again and felt like they were right back at square one. And it sucked for her because, deep down, she just wanted Jake all to herself; no girlfriends in the way.


End file.
